Coaching Yourself & Others - It's a Process

You’ve dedicated a spiral notebook with five sections to this endeavor called, Coaching Choices. 

Step 1 Wanting

Coaching yourself begins with identifying what you want to have in your life, keep in your life, work for in your life, and discovering what you have that needs attention and what you might need to give up.  You will be adding to your wants and adjusting your wants so the first section is for your ongoing work about what you want.

Utilize the other four sections of your notebook to create four separate categories.  Write on the section dividers the subject headings.  Here are categories you can consider:  

Relationship Matters

            Family

            Friends

            Work

            Others

Health and Welfare

Spiritual

Work

Financial

Fun, Fears and Feats

            Pleasure

            Learning

            Avoiding

            Achievements

Planning

            Prioritizing

Overcoming obstacles and objections

            Boundaries

Next, select your first set of ten “wants” you are ready to go to work on and stop there.  Each of the ten will need to be shaped into a goal. 

Coaching Choices continues with what you need to know about goal setting.  This is a process that can change your life, improve your personal and professional effectiveness and ramp up the quality of your relationships.  Are you willing to engage in the process?

Goal setting is coming up next…

Still learning,


Honey

Coaching Yourself & Others - The Beginning

Having a personal development coach was one of the best investments I ever made of my time and money. For over three years, several times a month, my coach taught me key factors to put to use in all kinds of situations.  I had someone encouraging me, gently confronting me and teaching me the importance of planning, evaluating and progress.

I think coaching done well is life enhancing, if not life altering.  Today I coach myself and others.  I work passionately at teaching others how to coach themselves.  I've learned first hand you can coach yourself. It's not magic. It's not quick. It works. It helps create an awakening, accountability, compassion and the importance of self-evaluation.

Coaching Choices is a method I've developed and utilize myself. The method incorporates the teachings of William Glasser, MD who authored a theory on motivation called "Choice Theory."

Here is the beginning of the first of 5 steps to take to get Coaching Choices working for you:

Step 1. Wanting

This step is about learning what you want, what you want to have happen. Purchase a spiral notebook with five sections. The first section is about Wanting. List everything you want to have happen. Look at what you wish was different, look at what you have you want to keep, look at how you want to be perceived. Write all that down. Focus on your Wanting. Dig for what you've wished was different, examine what you frustrate over and about.  Ask yourself, "what have I wanted for a long time? What have I put off wanting?" Write everything down on your mind that comes up.  No rush, but do it.  Maybe do this for ten days.

Review what you've written. Maybe you have a relationship in jeopardy, maybe you want to quit smoking, maybe you want to go back to school or obtain a promotion. Maybe you want to quit worrying, maybe you want to lose weight or change jobs.

When you think you've listed your hopes, dreams, wants, frustrations, fears and ambitions, it's time prioritize what you want. Now create your Want list and begin to number them by priority, immediacy, need and your desire to achieve them. Your list could also include important facets of your life that you think are going well and that you want to keep doing well.

Coaching yourself begins with identifying what you want to have in your life, keep in your life, work for in your life, and discovering what you have that needs attention and what you might need to give up.

Coaching Choices continues...tune in to tomorrow's blog as we work on helping you get what you want through coaching yourself.

Still learning,


Honey

Gadgets Really Get Me

Are you like me, do you have a Kindle on your Smart Phone, a Sony Reader, the iPod Shuffle, the iPod Nano?  Did I mention two laptops?  So when you get ready to leave town you can't decide how many devices are coming with you?  Do you have a drawer you call the graveyard where old cell phones and outdated software are buried?  Do you have a couple of old PCs and a few printers tucked away in the garage?  How about all those phone charger cords?  Maybe I can string them around the Christmas tree and hang CDs spray painted with glitter on them.  

Next up, where am I supposed to be?  I have a calendar on my computer, on my website, on my phone and I still won't give up my Franklin Planner.  I am not sure what is synced to what, but am pretty sure I am out of sync with all that needs to be synced. On my cell phone I have apps that are constantly begging to be updated and most of my applications on my PC send me pop-up messages regarding updates routinely.  I see a homeless person and I question if I can afford to spare a dollar and yet I frequently make donations to iTunes.

I don't tell everyone but I don't want to give up my original PDA; my all-time favorite, the Palm Pilot. It was my first, we are very bonded.  Gadgets here, gadgets there, gadgets, gadgets everywhere.

I have wireless headsets to keep up with and have learned they don't survive the washer and dryer.  I feel the call of the newest iPad and the Kindle Fire.  QuickBooks, Quicken and others like them threaten me "update now, we no longer support your version."  I feel rejected and foolish.  I clip coupons to save 50 cents on laundry detergent and consider paying over $500 for the latest gadget.  What's wrong with this picture?

Amazon knows more about me personally and what I am interested in than most of my friends.  Pulling on my need to fit in by telling me all the time that people that bought what you bought also bought this and that.  Keeping up is expensive.

While I set here worrying about aging all my equipment and the programs that run on them are consider old after a year!  Software and hardware wear me out.  I thought all this technology was going to make my life easier.  Hello?  I am stressed out over having too much, not enough and staying updated!  I am going to have to end this blog and go online and download a stress management app, I hope it's not outdated when I remember to use it.

Still learning,

Honey

Bank Rage is All the Rage

No doubt about it, the public has "bank rage."  Fees, bailouts and the mortgage mess. It's only fair to qualify that the word bank doesn't mean every bank.  For those of us that think banking is an honorable profession and proud to call ourselves bankers we cringe at the repeated message that all banks are greedy and evil.  Most bankers, especially community bankers, want to defend and scream "not all banks are like the banks that make the news."  But all banks are taking the heat.

Charging a monthly fee to have and use a debit card isn't going to fly.  Bank of America, et al, picked the wrong sermon to preach at the wrong time to the wrong congregation! Hardworking Americans don't want unfair fees charged by banks, especially those that can't stay out of the headlines!  It reminds me of the GM executives flying their private jets to Washington, DC to defend why they needed to be bailed out.  

Community banks don't want to be lumped into the pile of banks that have fueled "bank rage."

Encourage your neighbors, family and friends to go find a community bank and do business where greed doesn’t rule, where your opinion matters.  If you are a community banker this is your moment to shine and to educate the customer about how the business works.  Bankers take in deposits - which cost plenty to service in order to make loans and investments in an effort to make money, stay in business and justify risk.  

The spread between the deposits and the loans is slim.  The cost of business has never been higher and everyone looking for a good return on an investment can't find one.  Fees have become the banks way to pay for costs and make money but expecting the consumer to stand by in silence when they think they've been misused is ignorance.  B of A should have worked harder for a different solution.  The toughest job right now in any bank has to be working in the call center talking to customers about fees.

Bank with the financial institution of your choosing, demand they explain how doing business with them works.  And, when you hear the term "banks" from the media and Washington please remember it isn't all banks.  Let the guilty face the consequences. 

Being in the news in this great country can mean you’re famous or you truly screwed up. One more time B of A has created a media firestorm and one more time the consequences are painful.  The consumer knows how to get Netflix or Bank of America's attention; take your business elsewhere.  Netflix owned the mistake and the majority granted them forgiveness.  What should Bank of America do?  So far silence is not golden.

Still learning,

Honey

Working on Work Relationships

Nothing including salary can offset the stress associated with working with someone you need to get along with and for whatever reason you don’t.  Not getting along with is a broad description.  You won’t like everyone, everyone won’t like you.   That’s not new news.  What might be new news is becoming aware of what your choices really are about dealing with it.

In my last blog I suggested you ponder key questions you could ask yourself in order to begin to manage yourself in the relationship.  Here are some helpful suggestions and ideas for you to add to your picture of what you can do to reduce the stress or possibly improve how the relationship is working.  One thing that will help immediately is for you to decide how much you are going to think about the relationship and then set up your mental boundaries around your thinking. 

Our feelings come from what WE think and do.   The good news about that is that you can manage your feelings, difficult as that may be in heated, stressful or broken relationships.  It’s not up to the other person how you feel it’s up to you.   Depending upon the story around the relationship it’s possible the dysfunction has gone on a very long time and you’ve been at a loss as to what to do about it. The bad news is this…if what you are doing to make it better or to feel better isn’t working you will have to come with a new approach.

In order to “work” on the relationship you will have to start with what you want to have happen and what you are willing to do about what you want.  This is a stretch when your feelings are hurt or you’ve been dragging around resentment for too long.  As you consider what you want strive to be realistic and ultimately not make the want about anyone but you.  That will be a challenge.

Some of this relationship business takes courage and most of it takes training.  All of it requires work.  If you want to get really good at working out what isn’t working in a relationship begin to frame what you need to do as practice.  You will need practice working out differences, offenses, slights and broken promises with others.  Don’t forget that you too will provide opportunities for when you “malfunction” in working well with others. 

So for today pick up your pen, write out your thinking about this relationship that isn’t working.  Include your feelings.  Then ask yourself what you want to have happen.  Keep working and writing on what you want until you feel you have an acceptable list of wants that are appropriate for you, for your values; wants that are attainable, realistic and dependent on your actions. 

Keep in mind you will want to think through where you are now and where you want to be with regard to your happiness.  How much of your happiness are you willing to surrender to focusing on what you can’t do anything about?  How much of your happiness are you willing to give up because you afraid are to face your opponent and express your willingness to work on working out what isn’t working? 

Your happiness is not dependent on others, though it will be influenced and impacted by others.  Your happiness goal is in your hands, you will need to adjust your thinking and doing in order to maintain the level of happiness you are committed to. 

The key is taking ownership of your happiness.  Your happiness is tied to your ability to self-evaluate and self-correct.  We need successful relationships; they are the primary source of our happiness.

More on thinking, doing and wanting to come! 

Still learning,

Honey

Relationships that Aren’t Working at Work

Stressful situations on the job can take a toll on your happiness meter and your success.  We don’t get to pick who we work with, “those people” just come with the deal, with the job.   Maybe you have a relationship at work that isn’t working or maybe one that has room for improvement.  
 

If you’d like to help make a relatlionship at work end up working better here are some questions for you to ponder.

How important is the relationship to you?

How do you know it’s not working?

How does the “not working” factor impact your performance?  What about your effectiveness?

What do you think will happen if the “not working” factor is never resolved?

If in the past, you’ve talked this up with others (other than the person involved) in the workplace are you willing to stop talking about it on the job?  Who could you talk to that isn’t on the payroll who could help you manage your feelings and help you create a plan around this?

How willing are you to do something about the situation? 

What are three things you think you could do that would improve the situation?    What are three things you could stop doing that would improve the situation?

When would you be willing to start doing something positive about the situation?

Is it possible you can be effective and enjoy your job even if the “not working” issue doesn’t improve?

If your feelings about the issue have escalated to resentment about how long are you willing to stay resentful?

Tune in tomorrow and I will help you with some answers to these key self -evaluation questions.

Still learning,

Honey

Mastering the Art of Balancing for Tellers

Is there another job in a financial institution under more scrutiny daily than the teller?  Everyday everything counts and is counted in the teller drawer.  Among the counted include success factors like accuracy, organization, procedures, accountability, and security just to name the top five.  But at the end of the day it’s about balancing.  The teller’s balancing record is tracked and monitored.

Highly seasoned and popular with her audience, teller trainer Janice Branch says that the steps necessary to establish and maintain a consistent practice on how money is handled and how transactions are processed are the “secrets” to balancing.

“One of the most anxiety producing expectations a teller faces is balancing consistently. It’s not just luck when a teller balances; instead it’s all about best practices in action. Whether a teller balances or not depends on how well they follow specific procedures when handling cash, procedures and transactions. The ability to properly handle money and transactions is without question the key to mastering the balancing act,” says Branch.  She conducts workshops around the country, webinars for InterAction Training and provides CD ROM training on Mastering the Balancing Act for Tellers.

Janice’s Best Practices for Tellers

·         Always count coin first – the most common amount teller is out of balance is less than a dollar

·         Money that comes and goes from the drawer must be verified, using the calculator feature on your keyboard

·         Verify cash by counting it by denomination totals and entering it into the calculator, then hit total and compare the total to the check or the deposit slip

·         Watch out for common distractions – chatting on your phone or with a co-worker while counting money

·         Balancing is about certainty – knowing without any hesitation that your money drawer was always locked when your back was to it and that you verified all cash in and out

Branch says that at the end of the day her goal is to help both the teller and the financial institution get what they want…balancing! 

You can check out training manuals and free teller tools and articles by going to www.interaction-training.com/store.