This employee consistently has a chip on her shoulder and her moodiness is a pain. The weather is more predictable. You go to work, the world looks pretty good to you, and the door opens and "trouble" has arrived. As she whizzes by you without so much as a look you're thinking I need to address this.
Frequently her co-workers complain about her moodiness and her brisk and blunt comments to them. She demonstrates her angriness by slamming doors and huffing and puffing.
This isn't a new issue; this has been going on awhile. It’s not every day but it’s way too often.
You've prayed it would change, you've approached the mine field around her work space with armor on and been told "I don't bother anyone and I don't want anyone to bother me. I am here to do my job and that's what I do."
You've brought the stressful, disruptive, unkind and sometimes rude behavior up in reviews with her but nothing changes. She might never change but you must! So let's get busy on this!
Here’s a question for you and suggestions:
As her manager what do you WANT to have happen? Get real, get honest. Here's what others with an employee such as I have described have told me. "I want the behavior to stop." Well, actually, they've also said things like "I would like to smack her." "I would like to fire her." "I wish she'd leave."
What you want to have happen needs to be in alignment with the company's policies and expectations. It needs to align with your responsibilities as a manager and your personal value system.
You decide what you want. If you decide you want to address the behavior and create a mutual understanding of what needs to happen going forward I can help you. Here is your assignment if you chose to take it:
1. Make a list of specific examples of recent behavior that you want to stop. Do not exaggerate. Be factual. Be descriptive. Do not be dramatic. Act like a reporter describing what you saw, heard and what others have reported. Do not be prepared to go back over months or years or even throw the book at her but you must be able to describe in detail the behavior you saw, heard or was reported to you.
2. Schedule a coaching session; you can do this via email, phone or in-person. Here’s a suggestion on what to say. “Please make plans to meet with me for 10-15 minutes Wednesday morning at 8:15.” If she asks what's it about tell her you have some things to go over with her. That’s all you tell her.
If you routinely (hope you do) coach then you are dedicating your next coaching session with Mary to addressing this issue. Addressing is the beginning. It is not the end.
Best practices for all coaching sessions: be calm, sit on the same side of the desk or sit around a table, have water for you and her, have a clock where you both can see it, have paper and pen for each of you. Do not answer your phone or email and put a do not disturb sign on the door.
3. "Mary, I wanted to meet with you to determine something. I would like to know how well thought of you want to be as an employee of the company and as a member of my team. On a scale of 1-5 what would be the number that fits best – using a gauge of one meaning it doesn't matter and five meaning you want to be held in high regard, what number – 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 would be the number you want?"
Expect possible derailments of questions from Mary including what's this about, what do you mean, etc. Just stick to the script. You need her to answer the question.
You don’t defend, over explain or get into any behavior issues at this point. Stay focused on this first question.
I will blog on this again tomorrow. Between now and then I want you to make a list of what you think you would say according to the number she gives you. Then you can compare you answers to mine.
Until tomorrow…
Still learning,
Honey
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