Coaching Yourself & Others Series - Take Five

Roll your sleeves up and go to work on moving down the path of getting what you want.  Now that you have reviewed critical information about goal setting, you can dial back to your wants and select your top five.  Spend time asking yourself a few hard questions about the top five wants you are prepared to shape into goals. 

Do you truly desire this goal?  Are you on fire about this goal?

Can you visualize yourself accomplishing this goal?  Once you can see it, can you feel it? 

How will your life be better when you make this goal a reality?

What obstacles do you foresee?

What will you need to learn, need to do in order to reach this goal?

Who will you look to for support?

“Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives.”

Viktor Frankl

Next, determine where the goal fits.  What section of your notebook should the goal come to life? You might see it impacting more than one section or even all of them but still place your goal in the one section you think is the best fit.  Remember, these are just the first of many more to come so expect some sections might be empty on your first five. 

Write out one goal to a page, leaving 10 blank pages behind the goal page for you to work out your strategies for accomplishing the goal.  Include your answers to the above questions for each goal in your notebook.

Coaching yourself is the pathway to happiness and personal satisfaction.  Coaching revolves around a combination of self-evaluation, personal responsibility, accountability and self-correction.  It is a vital tool in that it will help your success ratio on the job and in your cherished or necessary relationships.  As you learn to coach yourself you will have the opportunity to coach others.  As the teacher you will be the student.

“…obviously you can’t transmit something you haven’t got.”

                                                                              Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, page 164

 

Still learning,

Honey

Coaching Yourself & Others Series – Goal Setting

Goals are dreams in writing with a deadline!

If you don’t know what you want, what direction to take, when you plan to get started and when you plan to get there you could end up with regrets and disappointment about not getting anywhere.

Get busy in your spiral notebook looking over your wants and making your list of goals.  Don’t leave any wants out, don’t discount one thing you want to make better or go for or wish you could achieve.  You can weed out and prioritize later.

The intention of goal setting is to place the focus on results. 

A key success tip in goal setting is the powerful SMART tool.  There are many variations of this dynamic mnemonic:

S             Specific (Spelled out or Significant)

M            Measurable (Meaningful)

A             Attainable (Action-Oriented or Achievable)

R             Relevant (Realistic or Rewarding)

T             Time-bound (Trackable)

You get more than one shot at writing out a goal, so plan on several drafts as you work toward learning how to coach yourself and others.    Keep this tip sheet handy as you craft your goals.

Pick up your pen – Writing out your goals will help to crystallize your thinking and move you from wishing and hoping to truly shaping up a formidable goal.

Go for precision – Spell out precise, short, to the point goals.  Putting dates, times, and amounts so you can measure results. 

Set realistic goals – Remember, these are your goals.  Others in your life will hand you goals (your employer, society, etc.).  Your own goals need to be achievable.  Be cautious to not set goals that are too difficult.  As you investigate what obstacles might need to be considered and what skill sets are required you may need to tweak your goals.

Set goals that are dependent on you and your performance – Examine your goals to be certain you have as much control as possible on reaching the goal. 

Express the goal in a positive framework – State the goal positively.  “Write in my journal 15 minutes five days a week” is precise, action-oriented, meets the criteria that you are in charge and is worded in a positive manner.  “Stop procrastinating about writing in my journal” is the polar opposite and ineffective.

Sift out the goal – This is challenging.  Ask yourself is this goal a true reflection of my values?  Who besides myself will benefit from me accomplishing this?  These are hard questions for goals to get past.  You will find the greatest satisfaction from working on and accomplishing goals that sync well with what matters most to you.  You will find a groundswell of support when what you focus your time, energy and resources on is beneficial to others.

More to come on Coaching Yourself & Others so stay in the loop!  Sign up for the blog so you don’t miss any segment of the series!  Sign up for our newsletter, too.  It’s free and full of tidbits that will help your personal and professional development.

Still learning,

Honey

Coaching Yourself & Others - It's a Process

You’ve dedicated a spiral notebook with five sections to this endeavor called, Coaching Choices. 

Step 1 Wanting

Coaching yourself begins with identifying what you want to have in your life, keep in your life, work for in your life, and discovering what you have that needs attention and what you might need to give up.  You will be adding to your wants and adjusting your wants so the first section is for your ongoing work about what you want.

Utilize the other four sections of your notebook to create four separate categories.  Write on the section dividers the subject headings.  Here are categories you can consider:  

Relationship Matters

            Family

            Friends

            Work

            Others

Health and Welfare

Spiritual

Work

Financial

Fun, Fears and Feats

            Pleasure

            Learning

            Avoiding

            Achievements

Planning

            Prioritizing

Overcoming obstacles and objections

            Boundaries

Next, select your first set of ten “wants” you are ready to go to work on and stop there.  Each of the ten will need to be shaped into a goal. 

Coaching Choices continues with what you need to know about goal setting.  This is a process that can change your life, improve your personal and professional effectiveness and ramp up the quality of your relationships.  Are you willing to engage in the process?

Goal setting is coming up next…

Still learning,


Honey

Coaching Yourself & Others - The Beginning

Having a personal development coach was one of the best investments I ever made of my time and money. For over three years, several times a month, my coach taught me key factors to put to use in all kinds of situations.  I had someone encouraging me, gently confronting me and teaching me the importance of planning, evaluating and progress.

I think coaching done well is life enhancing, if not life altering.  Today I coach myself and others.  I work passionately at teaching others how to coach themselves.  I've learned first hand you can coach yourself. It's not magic. It's not quick. It works. It helps create an awakening, accountability, compassion and the importance of self-evaluation.

Coaching Choices is a method I've developed and utilize myself. The method incorporates the teachings of William Glasser, MD who authored a theory on motivation called "Choice Theory."

Here is the beginning of the first of 5 steps to take to get Coaching Choices working for you:

Step 1. Wanting

This step is about learning what you want, what you want to have happen. Purchase a spiral notebook with five sections. The first section is about Wanting. List everything you want to have happen. Look at what you wish was different, look at what you have you want to keep, look at how you want to be perceived. Write all that down. Focus on your Wanting. Dig for what you've wished was different, examine what you frustrate over and about.  Ask yourself, "what have I wanted for a long time? What have I put off wanting?" Write everything down on your mind that comes up.  No rush, but do it.  Maybe do this for ten days.

Review what you've written. Maybe you have a relationship in jeopardy, maybe you want to quit smoking, maybe you want to go back to school or obtain a promotion. Maybe you want to quit worrying, maybe you want to lose weight or change jobs.

When you think you've listed your hopes, dreams, wants, frustrations, fears and ambitions, it's time prioritize what you want. Now create your Want list and begin to number them by priority, immediacy, need and your desire to achieve them. Your list could also include important facets of your life that you think are going well and that you want to keep doing well.

Coaching yourself begins with identifying what you want to have in your life, keep in your life, work for in your life, and discovering what you have that needs attention and what you might need to give up.

Coaching Choices continues...tune in to tomorrow's blog as we work on helping you get what you want through coaching yourself.

Still learning,


Honey

Gadgets Really Get Me

Are you like me, do you have a Kindle on your Smart Phone, a Sony Reader, the iPod Shuffle, the iPod Nano?  Did I mention two laptops?  So when you get ready to leave town you can't decide how many devices are coming with you?  Do you have a drawer you call the graveyard where old cell phones and outdated software are buried?  Do you have a couple of old PCs and a few printers tucked away in the garage?  How about all those phone charger cords?  Maybe I can string them around the Christmas tree and hang CDs spray painted with glitter on them.  

Next up, where am I supposed to be?  I have a calendar on my computer, on my website, on my phone and I still won't give up my Franklin Planner.  I am not sure what is synced to what, but am pretty sure I am out of sync with all that needs to be synced. On my cell phone I have apps that are constantly begging to be updated and most of my applications on my PC send me pop-up messages regarding updates routinely.  I see a homeless person and I question if I can afford to spare a dollar and yet I frequently make donations to iTunes.

I don't tell everyone but I don't want to give up my original PDA; my all-time favorite, the Palm Pilot. It was my first, we are very bonded.  Gadgets here, gadgets there, gadgets, gadgets everywhere.

I have wireless headsets to keep up with and have learned they don't survive the washer and dryer.  I feel the call of the newest iPad and the Kindle Fire.  QuickBooks, Quicken and others like them threaten me "update now, we no longer support your version."  I feel rejected and foolish.  I clip coupons to save 50 cents on laundry detergent and consider paying over $500 for the latest gadget.  What's wrong with this picture?

Amazon knows more about me personally and what I am interested in than most of my friends.  Pulling on my need to fit in by telling me all the time that people that bought what you bought also bought this and that.  Keeping up is expensive.

While I set here worrying about aging all my equipment and the programs that run on them are consider old after a year!  Software and hardware wear me out.  I thought all this technology was going to make my life easier.  Hello?  I am stressed out over having too much, not enough and staying updated!  I am going to have to end this blog and go online and download a stress management app, I hope it's not outdated when I remember to use it.

Still learning,

Honey

Bank Rage is All the Rage

No doubt about it, the public has "bank rage."  Fees, bailouts and the mortgage mess. It's only fair to qualify that the word bank doesn't mean every bank.  For those of us that think banking is an honorable profession and proud to call ourselves bankers we cringe at the repeated message that all banks are greedy and evil.  Most bankers, especially community bankers, want to defend and scream "not all banks are like the banks that make the news."  But all banks are taking the heat.

Charging a monthly fee to have and use a debit card isn't going to fly.  Bank of America, et al, picked the wrong sermon to preach at the wrong time to the wrong congregation! Hardworking Americans don't want unfair fees charged by banks, especially those that can't stay out of the headlines!  It reminds me of the GM executives flying their private jets to Washington, DC to defend why they needed to be bailed out.  

Community banks don't want to be lumped into the pile of banks that have fueled "bank rage."

Encourage your neighbors, family and friends to go find a community bank and do business where greed doesn’t rule, where your opinion matters.  If you are a community banker this is your moment to shine and to educate the customer about how the business works.  Bankers take in deposits - which cost plenty to service in order to make loans and investments in an effort to make money, stay in business and justify risk.  

The spread between the deposits and the loans is slim.  The cost of business has never been higher and everyone looking for a good return on an investment can't find one.  Fees have become the banks way to pay for costs and make money but expecting the consumer to stand by in silence when they think they've been misused is ignorance.  B of A should have worked harder for a different solution.  The toughest job right now in any bank has to be working in the call center talking to customers about fees.

Bank with the financial institution of your choosing, demand they explain how doing business with them works.  And, when you hear the term "banks" from the media and Washington please remember it isn't all banks.  Let the guilty face the consequences. 

Being in the news in this great country can mean you’re famous or you truly screwed up. One more time B of A has created a media firestorm and one more time the consequences are painful.  The consumer knows how to get Netflix or Bank of America's attention; take your business elsewhere.  Netflix owned the mistake and the majority granted them forgiveness.  What should Bank of America do?  So far silence is not golden.

Still learning,

Honey

Working on Work Relationships

Nothing including salary can offset the stress associated with working with someone you need to get along with and for whatever reason you don’t.  Not getting along with is a broad description.  You won’t like everyone, everyone won’t like you.   That’s not new news.  What might be new news is becoming aware of what your choices really are about dealing with it.

In my last blog I suggested you ponder key questions you could ask yourself in order to begin to manage yourself in the relationship.  Here are some helpful suggestions and ideas for you to add to your picture of what you can do to reduce the stress or possibly improve how the relationship is working.  One thing that will help immediately is for you to decide how much you are going to think about the relationship and then set up your mental boundaries around your thinking. 

Our feelings come from what WE think and do.   The good news about that is that you can manage your feelings, difficult as that may be in heated, stressful or broken relationships.  It’s not up to the other person how you feel it’s up to you.   Depending upon the story around the relationship it’s possible the dysfunction has gone on a very long time and you’ve been at a loss as to what to do about it. The bad news is this…if what you are doing to make it better or to feel better isn’t working you will have to come with a new approach.

In order to “work” on the relationship you will have to start with what you want to have happen and what you are willing to do about what you want.  This is a stretch when your feelings are hurt or you’ve been dragging around resentment for too long.  As you consider what you want strive to be realistic and ultimately not make the want about anyone but you.  That will be a challenge.

Some of this relationship business takes courage and most of it takes training.  All of it requires work.  If you want to get really good at working out what isn’t working in a relationship begin to frame what you need to do as practice.  You will need practice working out differences, offenses, slights and broken promises with others.  Don’t forget that you too will provide opportunities for when you “malfunction” in working well with others. 

So for today pick up your pen, write out your thinking about this relationship that isn’t working.  Include your feelings.  Then ask yourself what you want to have happen.  Keep working and writing on what you want until you feel you have an acceptable list of wants that are appropriate for you, for your values; wants that are attainable, realistic and dependent on your actions. 

Keep in mind you will want to think through where you are now and where you want to be with regard to your happiness.  How much of your happiness are you willing to surrender to focusing on what you can’t do anything about?  How much of your happiness are you willing to give up because you afraid are to face your opponent and express your willingness to work on working out what isn’t working? 

Your happiness is not dependent on others, though it will be influenced and impacted by others.  Your happiness goal is in your hands, you will need to adjust your thinking and doing in order to maintain the level of happiness you are committed to. 

The key is taking ownership of your happiness.  Your happiness is tied to your ability to self-evaluate and self-correct.  We need successful relationships; they are the primary source of our happiness.

More on thinking, doing and wanting to come! 

Still learning,

Honey

Relationships that Aren’t Working at Work

Stressful situations on the job can take a toll on your happiness meter and your success.  We don’t get to pick who we work with, “those people” just come with the deal, with the job.   Maybe you have a relationship at work that isn’t working or maybe one that has room for improvement.  
 

If you’d like to help make a relatlionship at work end up working better here are some questions for you to ponder.

How important is the relationship to you?

How do you know it’s not working?

How does the “not working” factor impact your performance?  What about your effectiveness?

What do you think will happen if the “not working” factor is never resolved?

If in the past, you’ve talked this up with others (other than the person involved) in the workplace are you willing to stop talking about it on the job?  Who could you talk to that isn’t on the payroll who could help you manage your feelings and help you create a plan around this?

How willing are you to do something about the situation? 

What are three things you think you could do that would improve the situation?    What are three things you could stop doing that would improve the situation?

When would you be willing to start doing something positive about the situation?

Is it possible you can be effective and enjoy your job even if the “not working” issue doesn’t improve?

If your feelings about the issue have escalated to resentment about how long are you willing to stay resentful?

Tune in tomorrow and I will help you with some answers to these key self -evaluation questions.

Still learning,

Honey

Mastering the Art of Balancing for Tellers

Is there another job in a financial institution under more scrutiny daily than the teller?  Everyday everything counts and is counted in the teller drawer.  Among the counted include success factors like accuracy, organization, procedures, accountability, and security just to name the top five.  But at the end of the day it’s about balancing.  The teller’s balancing record is tracked and monitored.

Highly seasoned and popular with her audience, teller trainer Janice Branch says that the steps necessary to establish and maintain a consistent practice on how money is handled and how transactions are processed are the “secrets” to balancing.

“One of the most anxiety producing expectations a teller faces is balancing consistently. It’s not just luck when a teller balances; instead it’s all about best practices in action. Whether a teller balances or not depends on how well they follow specific procedures when handling cash, procedures and transactions. The ability to properly handle money and transactions is without question the key to mastering the balancing act,” says Branch.  She conducts workshops around the country, webinars for InterAction Training and provides CD ROM training on Mastering the Balancing Act for Tellers.

Janice’s Best Practices for Tellers

·         Always count coin first – the most common amount teller is out of balance is less than a dollar

·         Money that comes and goes from the drawer must be verified, using the calculator feature on your keyboard

·         Verify cash by counting it by denomination totals and entering it into the calculator, then hit total and compare the total to the check or the deposit slip

·         Watch out for common distractions – chatting on your phone or with a co-worker while counting money

·         Balancing is about certainty – knowing without any hesitation that your money drawer was always locked when your back was to it and that you verified all cash in and out

Branch says that at the end of the day her goal is to help both the teller and the financial institution get what they want…balancing! 

You can check out training manuals and free teller tools and articles by going to www.interaction-training.com/store.

Coaching - Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

Conclusion...

Mary finally did what you asked and you engage her in the following conversation.

The Coach        “Mary, let’s go over this together.”

Here’s her list

Behaviors required of my job                         How well I do them (scale of 1 – 5)

Friendly                                                                       4                                                         

Team player                                                                 4

Dependable                                                                  5

Professional                                                                 5

Skills required of my job                                   How well I do them

Know the job                                                                5

Accuracy                                                                     5

Computer-related skills                                                 4

Problem-Solving                                                           4

The Coach        “Mary, I know you were resistant to working on this with me and I am glad you finished the assignment.  Where we started from was - I had asked you how well thought of you wanted to be working here.  You said 4.5 on the 1-5 scale.  This assignment was intended to help you get your 4.5.  Would it surprise you if I told you that every score you gave yourself needs to be lowered by one point and that I would say you are off by at least a point of getting what you want.  So if you want to obtain a 4.5 you will have to raise the bar on your effort and remove the cloud that interferes with both your behaviors and your skills.”

Mary     “What makes you say that?”

The Coach        “Each of the behaviors and skills are compromised by your persistent mood-related behaviors like angering, snubbing your co-workers and choosing to be blunt, resistant and unkind.  Do you think you are willing to stop choosing behavior that has a negative impact on your success?  If you are I can help.  The first step will be for you to build a plan that helps ensure you stop doing what isn’t working and start doing what is in your best interest,” 

Remember to stay focused on your goal.  Your goal is to have Mary take responsibility for behavior that is out of line and harming teamwork and her professional reputation.  Watch out for getting hooked or giving up or buying into myths that you tell someone something one time and that is all it takes.

Coaching isn’t magic.  Mary is a hard case.  Remember to focus on what YOU WANT and teach others to do the same. That is motivation, reaching for what you want.  Help others reach, help them see if what they are doing is working.  The teacher will become the student and Mary just might be less contrary.

Still learning,

Honey

Coaching - There's Something About Mary

Mary shows up for the meeting without any paperwork and is sporting her angry face.  You inquire about the assignment and…

Mary     “I didn’t do it, I think this is ridiculous.  I do my job and I don’t appreciate being singled out to do some assignment about all this.”

The Coach        “Well, since you didn’t come prepared, you can finish the assignment now.”

Mary     “What if I don’t?”

The Coach        “What do you think will happen if you don’t?”

Mary     “I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem important to me.”

The Coach        “It’s important to your job, is your job important to you?”

Mary     “Well, yes but I don’t see the big deal here.”

The Coach        “It’s going to be as a big a deal as you make it.  I expect and want your cooperation.  I gave you an assignment, I expected you to finish it.  So here’s the pen, here’s the sheet you were working on last session so finish the assignment and I will be right back.”

You leave the room.  Come back in 5 minutes.

Tomorrow we will conclude coaching Mary.  She is a tough cookie and some of you have been Mary and some of you work with Mary.  The goal is to help Mary see that what she is doing is not going to help her get what she wants.

Does this sound too hard or too easy?  The challenge is stay focused on what you want to have happen.  It’s important you avoid being hooked by her self-defeating, over-empowered attitude and behavior.  Mary needs to get the picture of what is expected of her and to compare what she is doing to what is expected.

Tomorrow we will lower the boom with Mary and work on the outcome. 

Still learning,

Honey

Moving Forward…Coaching the "Chip on My Shoulder Employee"

Where are we?  Oh, yes, wishing Mary wasn't a pain.  The process I am sharing is NOT a quick fix.  It's a solution.  So here we go.

You had asked Mary to write down the behaviors and skills she thinks that are required in order to be very well thought of on the job.

On her list for behaviors she wrote:  Friendly, team player, dependable and professional.  Under skills she has: Know the job, accuracy, computer-related skills, and problem-solving.

You look over the list and tell her you think this is a great start.  Ask her to share her thinking about both lists.  Your job is to listen, to encourage her to speak about both lists.  Don’t ask her to defend what she came up with.  Ask her to share how she came up with it.  Inquire if there is anything more she wants to share about either list.

You are thinking she’s missing some behaviors and skills you expected.  And, you have witnessed first-hand that she is definitely falling short on excelling at several on her list but you don’t share your thinking.

“Mary, you and I are going to routinely meet.  And, we are going to meet to explore what you want, looking into what you need to do to get what you want, together we are going to build a plan to ensure you get what you want and we'll decide some ways to measure how close you are to getting what you want.  How does this sound to you?”

She is skeptical but agreeable.

Have her sign and date the list, make a copy for yourself, she keeps the original.

Give her the next assignment.

“Mary, look over the list each day for a few days, as you do ask yourself if there is anything you want to add.    Then before we meet a week from today I want you to rate yourself using the 1-5 scale on each behavior and skill.  Remember 1 would mean the lowest score you could give yourself, 5 would mean the highest score you could give yourself.  Bring this to our meeting next week so we can talk more about this.”

Stay tuned for Monday’s blog where we explore what else could have happened in this coaching session. Like, what to do if Mary simply won’t make a list or crosses her arms and folds them tight and scows at you in a very uncooperative manner refusing to participate.

Still learning,

Honey

More about Coaching the "Chip on My Shoulder Employee"

Let's keep the coaching going. Here's where we left off...

"Mary, I wanted to meet with you to determine something. I would like to know how well thought of you want to be as an employee of the company and as a member of my team. On a scale of 1-5 what would be the number that fits best – using a gauge of one meaning it doesn't matter and five meaning you want to be held in high regard, what number – 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 would be the number you want?"

With reluctance Mary says I would be fine with a 4.5. You explain that 4.5 is a number you can support. Ask her to make a list of the behaviors and skills she believes are crucial to the success of someone in her position.

Be prepared to help Mary with the list BUT do not give her the list. Even leave the room while she works on this. Tell her you need to go to something and you will be back in 5 minutes or less and for her to just quickly make a stab at the list.

You could even give her a prepared sheet of paper with a line down the middle with one side labeled Behaviors and the other Skills.

The key is for Mary to begin to get the picture of what is required of someone who is well thought of - both by others and herself.

On tomorrow's blog we will pick this up. Stay tuned.

Still learning,

Honey

What to Do with the "Chip on my Shoulder" Employee

So here's the situation:

This employee consistently has a chip on her shoulder and her moodiness is a pain. The weather is more predictable. You go to work, the world looks pretty good to you, and the door opens and "trouble" has arrived.  As she whizzes by you without so much as a look you're thinking I need to address this.

Frequently her co-workers complain about her moodiness and her brisk and blunt comments to them. She demonstrates her angriness by slamming doors and huffing and puffing.

This isn't a new issue; this has been going on awhile. It’s not every day but it’s way too often. 

You've prayed it would change, you've approached the mine field around her work space with armor on and been told "I don't bother anyone and I don't want anyone to bother me. I am here to do my job and that's what I do."

You've brought the stressful, disruptive, unkind and sometimes rude behavior up in reviews with her but nothing changes.   She might never change but you must!  So let's get busy on this!

Here’s a question for you and suggestions:

As her manager what do you WANT to have happen? Get real, get honest. Here's what others with an employee such as I have described have told me. "I want the behavior to stop." Well, actually, they've also said things like "I would like to smack her." "I would like to fire her." "I wish she'd leave."

What you want to have happen needs to be in alignment with the company's policies and expectations.  It needs to align with your responsibilities as a manager and your personal value system.

You decide what you want. If you decide you want to address the behavior and create a mutual understanding of what needs to happen going forward I can help you.  Here is your assignment if you chose to take it:

1. Make a list of specific examples of recent behavior that you want to stop. Do not exaggerate. Be factual. Be descriptive. Do not be dramatic. Act like a reporter describing what you saw, heard and what others have reported.  Do not be prepared to go back over months or years or even throw the book at her but you must be able to describe in detail the behavior you saw, heard or was reported to you.

2. Schedule a coaching session; you can do this via email, phone or in-person. Here’s a suggestion on what to say.  “Please make plans to meet with me for 10-15 minutes Wednesday morning at 8:15.”   If she asks what's it about tell her you have some things to go over with her.  That’s all you tell her.

If you routinely (hope you do) coach then you are dedicating your next coaching session with Mary to addressing this issue.   Addressing is the beginning.  It is not the end.

Best practices for all coaching sessions: be calm, sit on the same side of the desk or sit around a table, have water for you and her, have a clock where you both can see it, have paper and pen for each of you. Do not answer your phone or email and put a do not disturb sign on the door.

3. "Mary, I wanted to meet with you to determine something. I would like to know how well thought of you want to be as an employee of the company and as a member of my team. On a scale of 1-5 what would be the number that fits best – using a gauge of one meaning it doesn't matter and five meaning you want to be held in high regard, what number – 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 would be the number you want?"

Expect possible derailments of questions from Mary including what's this about, what do you mean, etc. Just stick to the script. You need her to answer the question.

You don’t defend, over explain or get into any behavior issues at this point.  Stay focused on this first question.

I will blog on this again tomorrow. Between now and then I want you to make a list of what you think you would say according to the number she gives you. Then you can compare you answers to mine.

Until tomorrow…

Still learning,

Honey

Where Did My Day Go?

If you’re like me that is not an uncommon question you ask of yourself.  I think knowing the answer is part of the solution to spending time wisely.  If stress and disappointment are knocking on your door telling you that either you have too much to do or that you just can't seem to get where you want to go then changing a few habits and building an action plan might be in order.

Do you think you’d be willing to keep a time log for a couple of weeks?    It will help you see if you’re making the best choices; choices that fit well with your values and your goals.

In my last blog I encouraged you to picture how your life would be better if you managed your time more effectively.  You want to write that out.   Keep your description handy so when you feel the tug of old habits you can quickly remember the value of making a few changes.  Changes that will help you get what you want.

Here is the second of five fast track tips on eliminating self-defeating habits.

2.  Carefully define the new habits you wish to develop. 

Consider what three time management habits you think would help you the most.   Write them down, describe each habit.  Be honest with yourself.  Gather the information you need to implement the change and visualize yourself putting the habit in place.  Develop a realistic action plan and get started.

Consider some of the staples of time mastery like planning, prioritizing and project planning.

Getting into the habit of planning might look like this:

First thing each day create your to-do-list so you get into the habit of planning. 

The habit of prioritizing works like this:

Review the list and determine what needs to happen by noon and give those items an A, everything that needs to be completed by 6 PM is marked a B and items that need to happen before you retire for the night are marked C.  Estimate the time you think is needed for each item on the list.  You will quickly know if your plan is realistic or not.  Adjust where needed.  Then determine what happens first for each section of the day.  Whenever you can, do what you LEAST want to do, first.

Learn how to master project planning.   

When you’re working on a project, estimate the total amount of time it will take to accomplish the project.  Work from your deadline date backwards to see how you can weave time into your schedule for the project.  Ideally you break the time into a stated period of time, i.e., 20-minute segments.  Set your alarm or timer to notify you when the 20 minutes is up.  Most of us can’t stop the workflow to work exclusively on a project but we can master segments of time devoted to the project.

A sense of accomplishment is a great motivator!  That is why list making and prioritizing will help you get done what is most urgent/most important. 

Pause your life for 10 minutes and come up with your list of new habits you are willing to build an action plan around so you can have the TIME OF YOUR LIFE!

Stay tuned, step three is coming next…

Still learning,

Honey