10 Ways To Become an Active Listener

Are you trained to listen passively? It’s what we are taught in school and even at work so odds are the answer is yes. Do you focus on not fidgeting during a conversation? Do you try to act interested and take notes? I am sure they sound as familiar to you as they do to me. They are signs of passive listening. If the goal you set is to not interrupt the speaker and to not fall asleep, you are definitely listening passively! The question is: are we really doing the speaker a favor by taking on a passive role? Not really. We don’t share ideas. We don’t ask questions. We just give courteous applause when the presentation is over. We are having one-way conversation.

Live interaction during meetings, teachings, presentations and brainstorming sessions can lead to real chance. The listener has just as big of a responsibility as the speaker, yet Google has four times as many matches for “how to speak” than “how to listen.” If we are doing it right, listening is not a passive act.

Let’s make the dialog more valuable for both speaker and listener with active listening. Active listening encourages two-way communication to improve mutual understanding. It prevents you from wandering off to your dinner plans or hair appointment you have later that day. Active listening encourages you to engage with the speaker. The intention is not to start an argument but simply to check understanding. Your feedback allows the speaker to check if the message is clear and encourages him or her to think critically about what he or she is saying. The hardest step in better listening is the first rule: do it on purpose. Make the effort to be great at listening. After all, better listening leads to better speaking.

10 ways to become an active listener

1. Do it on purpose

Be fully engaged with the speaker and do not let your mind wonder. Think about the points the speaker is making. How do you agree with the speaker? What would you say or do differently?

2. Don’t worry so much about taking notes

Notes can be summarized in a memo later, or better yet, ask the speaker for a copy of their presentation if it is available. Ask another great listener in the room to share notes.  Write down only the absolute must have take-away from the presentation.

3. Pay the person who is speaking back with enthusiasm

The expression on your face, your posture and your questions. Do you look like you are listening?

4. Role-play in your mind what you hear in your own situation

Build on what you are hearing and make it your own. How will you apply this information in your day-to-day and how will it make a difference. Take what you have heard and make it the foundation for your next great idea.

5. If you disagree, wait a few seconds

Make sure the thought is finished before interrupting and then explain why you disagree. Do not challenge the speaker, instead challenge the idea.

6. Ask the question

If it’s worth listening to, it’s worth questioning until you understand it. Ask the speaker a truly difficult question on the subject that the whole room will benefit from. Many times the best questions are asked in private after the presentation is over. Make sure everyone benefits from your curiosity.

7. Everyone in the room has a wealth of experience to share

Regardless if they have only been on the job two weeks, valuable advice and insight often comes from unexpected sources. The speaker should actively try to engage the room. Share your incredibly valuable experience when you have the opportunity!

8. Honor the speaker

They have spent a great amount of valuable time in order to stand in front of the room and deliver the talk. The best way to honor someone who has said something smart and useful is to say something back that is smart and useful. A better way to honor them is to do something with what you learned in the presentation.

9. Give honest feedback

Was it a 10 out of 10? Then let them know! Same rule applies if there was any room for improvement. Speakers want to know how then can continually improve their presentations.

10. Active listeners get what they deserve – Better speakers!

Active listening requires more from both the speaker and the attendee, but the returns are huge. By listening actively we get better speakers! How is that for a win-win?

What can you do to create an environment where active listening thrives in your workplace?

If you're interested in the topic, you will enjoy one of our free articles too: Developing Others Through Feedback.

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