Getting What You Want Series - It’s in the Doing

Doing is about choices and can best be described as our thinking and acting.  Both are voluntary and primary influencers with regard to how we feel since our emotions follow our thinking and acting.  Genetically we are encoded to feel good so all of our doing from our first breath to our last, whether conscientiously or not is our best attempt to feel good.   

Easier said than done; the challenge is to become purposeful and intentional with our doing.  A best practice is to learn how to evaluate what promotes our well-being and what sabotages it.  Utilizing self-examination and explaining our doing will play a vital role to feeling good and to sustaining a meaningful life.

Another way to look at doing is to consider it the development and execution of the strategies needed to get what we want.

Lining Up Your Doing Strategies with Your Wanting Goals

1.     What are you doing now to get what you want?

2.     What have you done in the past that has helped you get what you want? 

3.     What have you done that didn’t work very well?

4.     Who has been successful at getting what you want? 

5.     What did they do to get it?

6.     Who will you look to for support, feedback and encouragement?

7.     What are the first 3 things you believe you need to do to get what you want?

8.     When will you start doing what you need to do?

9.     How committed are you to doing what you’ve determined needs to be done?

10. What “doing” would you suggest to others who want what you want?

11. What obstacles or roadblocks do you anticipate you will need to work around in order to do what needs to be done?

12. What is your plan for potential challenges?

13. Are you willing to be both gentle and firm with yourself when you self reflect daily on the effectiveness of what you are doing?

14. How will you celebrate your milestones as you do what you set out to do?

A strategy that will prove helpful is for you to write out how your life will be better if you get what you want.  Look for pictures that represent to you how your life would be if you had what you wanted or create your own pictures.  Imagery is a powerful tool in accomplishing in life what you want.  Put those images where you can see them often.  

What to do if you find yourself discouraged or when you find yourself thinking it isn’t worth it? Go back and look at the images remembering how you believe your life will be better.  Then move right into self-evaluation so you can check out what your doing and make any adjustments needed. 

Still learning,

Honey

Getting What You Want Series - Goals

Maybe the most powerful tool I have found that enhances the quality of my life is setting and executing goals.  Powerful because it engages my creativity in helping me to go after what I want.  Lofty goals are intentions that are generally mulled over and never put on paper.  Goals written down become visual destinations.   Like all trips you plan to take you will need a date to depart and a date to arrive.  Developing strategies and identifying key tasks act like a road map plotting out turns and speed limits.    It is wise to plan on alternate routes and to allow for delays.

What is it you want?  Make a list of what you truly believe would enhance the quality of your life.  Give consideration to the impact your want will have on others.  I think your odds for accomplishment will be in your favor if what you want is helping others. 

Learn all you can about mastering the art of self evaluation.   It is crucial you evaluate the usefulness and meaningfulness of what you want.  At times we all have experienced disappointment and surprise after we got what we wanted or what we thought we wanted.  Learn to be very selective about what you want.  Wants are what drive your needs bus.  Don’t become someone who wants and wishes their life away.  Become someone who is very in tune to what your mission in life is, someone dedicated to becoming who you were intended to be.  Acing self evaluation means learning from our mistakes, accepting our humanness and that of others.  It’s about asking great questions of yourself.  It doesn’t mean you won’t be conflicted, it means you will build a muscle that helps you manage the conflict of your wants and needs.

The way we are programmed is that from birth to death we begin capturing pictures in our minds of the people, places, things and beliefs that we believe will help our happiness, help us to be need fulfilled.  Some of the pictures are what we already have while others are pictures of what we hope to have.  Because we have the picture doesn’t mean it’s good for us or that we will get it or should keep it. 

The primary difference between people who are happy most of the time and those that aren’t comes down to  this – the happy most of the time have worked to acquire the art and skill of self evaluation.  Specifically learning how to evaluate those pictures we store or goals we set or wants we have.   It is the skill of a champion; it is how you find your sweet spot.  It is how you stop self sabotaging or buying into fantasies that aren’t within your grasp.  Wanting something for a long time you can’t have or wanting it and not being willing to work for it is a set-up for unhappiness.

As you work on mastering the art of goal setting use the SMARTIE success method.

Specific - your goal is specific and written down

Measurable - you have a means to measure your accomplishment

Attainable - your goal is a stretch but it is attainable

Reasonable - your goal makes sense and is a right fit for your values

Timeline - you have set a time to start and time to finish

Impact - your goal will have a positive impact on someone(s) other than just you

Enthusiasm - you have invested enthusiasm and energy into your goal

Still learning,

Honey

Love Your Work?

"We only get one life, and the urgency of getting on with what we're meant to do increases every day."   - Bob Buford in the foreword of Half Time. 

Can you love your work?  For some that question is an oxymoron.  Only a few can answer yes, while a lot of us just want to experience it!  Enjoying what you do is about finding pleasure in your work, it's about learning, it's about making a difference, being competent/confident, feeling included and knowing you are appreciated.  

People that love their work take full responsibility for where they work.  There are times when you have to provide for yourself/others and you take a job because you have to have one.  That is about meeting the basic need to survive.  Doing a job you love is the result of being determined to be fulfilled in your work.

Find yourself an encourager, a mentor or a life coach and do the dig to tunnel your way to being fulfilled about your work.  Search out people that love what they do and who they do it for.  Learn all you can from them.

Digging into knowing what you love to do, and then learning what you need to do in order to do it well, are key steps toward finding your passion.  The payoff will beneficial beyond measure.

I like to quote Jim Collins who wrote several books including Good to Great, "Whether you prevail or fail depends more on what you do to yourself than what the world does to you."

Do you think it’s possible to love your job?

Still learning,

Honey

Teamwork Worked for the Mavs

I am a die-hard basketball fan.  I was a Rockets season ticket holder for years during the Hakeem and Rudy T. days.  My favorite month of the year is March.  In a perfect world I would be at every Final Four, every year!

What I love about the sport is that it's unquestionably a team sport.  Everyone on the floor has to keep their eye on the ball, run and execute.  How fun for Dallas that they scored the ring this year. LeBron is taking plenty of heat (pun intended) that he couldn't make it happen for Miami.  I think those critics are the talking heads that forgot the only time in modern history that we've seen basketball dominated by a one man show was when Jordan played for the Bulls.

In the business world when a team is easily identified, well-trained, shares a common rule book, looks up to an involved coach and works together to become champions you find a workplace with synergy and extreme job satisfaction.  It may be as rare in the work world as it is in the NBA to find a team that works their heart out and ends up on the top of the heap.  

Lessons to be learned for leadership include how you create a true team, expect greatness, clarify purpose and rules of the game, train, coach, practice, look at the replays, learn from what works and what doesn't and celebrate every step of the way!

Still learning,

Honey 

The Power of Words

Words have always fascinated me. Words empower us to express ourselves and show to others who we are and what we think, believe and feel.   The spoken or written word can be positive and uplifting or can be cruel and wreak havoc on lives and situations. And sometimes, truthful words can be exactly what someone needs to hear. Sometimes things can be said without censure or thought changing forever the way people perceive us or themselves. As school children we may have defended ourselves by saying “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me” to the cruel taunts hurled our way by bullies.  How untruthful that statement is. One only need read the papers for stories of bullying emails and posts that led to someone’s suicide.

A new public service announcement featuring “Glee” star Jane Lynch and a darling little girl reminds us of how negative words affect those who hear them. Perhaps these words are meant to be humorous.  They have become clichés, or cultural slurs that have been used for generations and too often accepted by society.  

Every one of us has the power to make a positive impact on the world by choosing our words thoughtfully. This is expressed in a famous quote: “Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.”   - Buddha

Our choice of words can make the difference in helping or hurting a relationship. Lifestyle coaches choose truthful words to help their clients grow.  Words of encouragement and validation can be a powerful catalyst to the young or to those learning a new task.

Someone once told me that you can only speak with the words you know so work everyday at adding words to your vocabulary.  If you only knew the word blue and didn't know about teal, aquamarine or periwinkle you would be like an artist who could only paint with one shade of blue.  The more words you know the easier it is to express yourself.

No doubt our words have an impact on others. They have awesome power. Make sure you choose your words wisely. 

This Text Could Be Hazardous to Your Health

After years of controversy the World Health Organization has determined that the energy used to power cell phones may trigger brain cancer in some users.  The information, as it was disseminated today says that 31 scientists from14 countries, including the United States, reviewed peer group studies on cell phone safety to conclude that mobile phone use “possibly” could cause cancer. 

They say that radiation emitted from cell phones is called non-ionizing—similar to low powered microwaves.  However, cell phones are now in the same hazardous category as engine exhaust, lead and chloroform. It is reported that the studies were simply reviews and not in a controlled environment.  Obviously more research needs to be conducted to draw a definite conclusion. 

Will we see cell phone usage minimize as a result of this new report?   I don’t think so.  We have a worldwide addiction to our friend the cellphone whether that’s a Blackberry, a SmartPhone or whatever we call our BFF.  Many people, including myself, become panicky if we lose or break this constant contact attachment. 

So, what will we do with this new information?  What we can do is to make smart choices when using our cell phones.  We can use a headset so that the cell phone is not against our ear; use an adapter in the car allowing the call to go through the  radio; use the speaker feature allowing hands-free operation; and when at home use the old-faithful house phone.

Whether or not cell phone usage will cause brain cancer remains to be seen. However, what we do know about the hazards of cell phones is texting and talking while driving is extremely dangerous. The greatest percentage of single vehicle accidents each year is the result of distracted driving due to cell phone use; many of which are fatal.  Distracted driving cost 6,000 people their lives last year and injured over 500,000.  Maybe the best choice would be to choose to pull off the side of the road when making a call or texting, or better yet commit to no cell phone use while driving.   

Your life and the life of those around you is certainly more important than whatever message the cell phone is trying to deliver. 

Still learning,

Honey