What do you Gamble on?

The stakes can be high when you ignore what you need and grab what you want.  There seems to be a variety of approaches we choose in order to get what we need and want.  An approach may be thoughtful or it could  be a roll of the dice  Sometimes when we consider what we want or need we might try wishing it will happen or try daydreaming or try coming up a with a plan.

Planning, wanting and wishing are often easily confused.  Planning indicates that there is a thoughtful process. When one plans, a strategy is laid out, and with some work, the possibility of a successful outcome is fairly high.  Don’t forget luck and hope are not strategies. Hope is essential to our happiness.  But hope is like faith.  Without action it will evaporate.  The odds are stacked against you if you don't learn to embrace hope with planning and action.

Wishing, on the other hand, is blind hope that everything will turn out okay by the cross of one’s fingers.  Little thought or effort really goes into wishing.  It is fun to wish on a falling star, sometimes buy a lottery ticket, blow out your birthday candles or wave a wand wishing for what you want.  Unfortunately, life rarely rewards those efforts.  Sometimes we step up the wishing and engage in decisions or purchases that have long term obligations or sacrifice a week’s salary without thorough evaluation.  We buy Powerball tickets with money needed for medicine.  Or the wanting urges us to buy things like houses we cannot afford. Most Americans confess they have spent money they don’t have gambling on a better future.  I think that some of the people caught in this American foreclosure mess are a result of thoughtless wishing.

Planning is an important and sometimes painful step in protecting our future.  Establishing habits like having a budget, saving money and learning from a money guru like Suzie Orman can slow down misuse of money or betting on the come.  

Realizing that we don’t need a lot of stuff can be a cathartic journey.  What we really need and want are two separate issues.  Getting real about what are necessities versus what are essentials is an eye opening experience.  Staying real can mean not gambling away what you need for what you want. 

And, then there are those among us that have never known what it would be like to get what we need or have been victim to unfortunate circumstance.  Like the homeless, those born into poverty, those struck by disaster or those trying to win a losing battle with addiction.  Some of those may have become the hopeless and have surrendered to wishing it were different.  For the fortunate among us that do have our needs met we need to look for those who don’t.  

Thank you to the American Red Cross, United Way and the countless numbers of organizations that leap to the aid of so many.

If your needs aren’t being met don’t wait to get lucky, look for help. 

If your needs are being met, get busy and help someone who’s still waiting.

Still learning,

Honey

Amen, Oprah!

For those closest to me they know I am not a devoted Oprah follower.  Her power at times has been alarming to me and her ability to blacklist or blindly support others has been something I have been skeptical about.  Sometimes I thought she would cross from talk show to therapist to censor and campaign manager.  But her audience loved her.

All that being said...after two and a half decades Oprah Winfrey stepped away from her wildly successful television talk show to begin a new chapter in her life.

How she would end this part of her journey was highly speculated in the press and met with anticipation by her millions of followers. Would it be a spectacular event with extravagant giveaways? Would it be one that featured famous and inspiring people or her loyal staff? Her last stint on stage was a display of gratitude, humility and a message that rivaled sermons given by Rev. Billy Graham.


Many people saw Oprah adorn the Fortune 500 List as being one of the most powerful, influential and wealthiest people in the world. They might view her as a celebrity who lives an opulent lifestyle in mansions and exclusivity. She is not one layered and there is more than the home that she lives in or her financial statement to validate how she became such a 20th century powerhouse.


There are so many ways in which she opened our eyes up. She made reading popular and exciting through her book club. She inspired self reflection through gratitude journaling. Education was at the top of her list and was an ongoing topic of discussion. Winfrey described the world as her classroom.

Oprah chose to use her recognition and celebrity to bring awareness to social issues no one else would tackle. She made some people squirm a little as she brought issues to the surface that were uncomfortable but needed to be dealt with. People unafraid to confront personal issues were challenged to make a positive change in their lives. As a television personal coach, she emphasized personal responsibility – to own what is the reality of each person’s life in personal, health and financial issues. Oprah forced us to look at how we fit in to a bigger and sometimes different shaped box.

I did watch most of her last show. The best message I received in her closing tribute to her audience was that we don’t have to be rich or famous to be a powerful force to change or make a difference in the life of someone else. Each one of us, no matter what our circumstances are, can do something to make this a better world. In her final statement, she didn’t take credit for her accomplishments as she said, “To God Be the Glory.”  "Amen, Oprah!"

Green Up our Amazing Earth!

The world celebrated for a day in time on April 22 to commemorate Earth Day.  Individuals, organizations and companies came together to share creative inventions and ideas that will save money, energy and reduce toxins.  It’s amazing what innovations are born when we are confronted with a need.  If awareness of the fragile state of our planet Earth was observed everyday, not just one day a year, what a wonderfully different planet this would and can be. The benefits would be felt on many different levels; health, financial, quality of life.  It takes one person, one idea and one action at a time.  

The first Earth Day, April 22, 1970, was founded by U.S. Senator Gaylord Nelson.  According to Wikipedia it has grown from the first year with a participation of 20 million to now more than 500 million people in 192 countries. Many changes and improvements have inspired educated scholars, scientists and most importantly, everyday citizens to explore ways to improve our environment.

Everyone can make a difference. You might not think these differences from one person can make a difference but they do.  We have choices; recycle, ride your bicycle or take mass transit to work or carpool, bring your own reusable bags to the supermarket, block out heat and cold by insulating or calking your home.   The list goes on and on.  We might have to buy into these ideas and make sacrifices that pay off in the end.  With gas sneaking up to $5 a gallon we all will see the effect of fuel surcharges.  Maybe we will have a wakeup call to take action.  Choosing not to drive one day a week could change the entire impact of supply and demand not to speak of the relief the environment would enjoy.

Preserving the integrity of the planet includes involvement with our young people.  Greening education is taking place at home and continues through programs in our schools. Help from environmental organizations, science fairs and contests encourage involvement from the future generations.  Kids love to feel that they make a difference and often times are stunned to learn how a small change of habit can benefit all of us.

Preserving the health of our planet may seem like an impossible task, but it isn’t.  Small changes in lifestyles can make significant differences in our planet; one person, one change at a time, every day at a time.   At the end of the day we will feel better about ourselves and about the future of our planet.  So, let’s not celebrate our amazing planet just one day a year, but everyday. 

I commit to not driving at least one day a week and to continue to recycle.  Most of my purchased books today are eBooks and I have opted in for paperless communication from those I do business with that offer it.  I'll turn on the ceiling fans and turn up the A/C.  What will you commit to?

Still learning,

Honey

Getting Into the Habit of Listening

We rely on so many different skills to get us through our days, months and years.  First to come to mind include survival or coping and, of course, communication.  While all of these are important, the ability to listen, hear and understand what is being said is a life skill that affects every aspect of our lives.

An ancient Chinese proverb goes like this:

 To listen well is as powerful a means

 of influence as to talk well and

 is essential to all true conversation.

Remember the Gossip Game.  I love that game.  I played it as a child and have even had fun at parties playing as an adult.  This is where people are gathered in a circle.  It's a fun but powerful demonstration of what happens to information when it is passed by word of mouth.

Very simply, the players are lined up in a row or a circle. The first person is given a sentence or perhaps several sentences written on a piece of paper. He or she commits the information to memory and then sets the paper aside. He "whispers" the information, as well as he can remember it to the next person in line. This person does the same, passing the information down the line until it reaches the end. 

The last person reveals what he has been told to all assembled. The first person then reads the paper.  Most often the original story is so distorted that there a few similarities to the original version by the time the last person receives it.  Some of the changes can be attributed to perception, but I believe that most of the time it’s simply a case of our inability or willingness to listen and hear what is said.  Most of us want to do the talking.  It’s human nature.

“While the right to talk may be the beginning of freedom, 

the necessity of listening is what makes the right important.” 

                                                            - Walter Lippman

Relationships are formed through listening and responding to what is being said. Good listening skills can have a major impact on job effectiveness.  Listening is a key ingredient to problem solving in the business world.   Customers know when their voice is being heard.  World leaders and negotiators shape our futures through key decisions they make listening to each other.  

The brain needs to be attentive for us to capture the words when we listen.    Engaging the heart with the brain is what paves the way for compassion, kindness and understanding.  Successful listeners avoid distractions and work to respond non-judgmentally.  They also go into conversations with an open mind ready to hear what is being spoken.  Heartfelt listening gives insight to what might be between the lines. 

One of my favorite authors, Stephen Covey, has helped professionals all over the globe with his groundbreaking book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  

Habit 5

Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.  

What a worthwhile habit for those of us that would like to elevate our listening skills to get into!


Still learning,


Honey

Identify Theft at Any Age

Identity theft has been an increasing problem for many Americans who were cruising along naively thinking their financial lives were safe and secure.  The media coverage of this intrusion brought awareness of this issue and as a result more people began to monitor their credit history, activity and ratings.  The newest target of this problem affects the most unaware – small children.

In a recent report, NBC investigated this latest phenomenon and confronted perpetrators who borrowed money for houses, automobiles and credit cards after stealing the Social Security numbers of our youngest citizens. The cunning thieves unraveled the code in which Social Security numbers are issued and used the numbers of innocent children to obtain loans and credit lines at financial institutions and department stores. 

For the con anything goes, including stealing the identity of a child!  There are children all over America who now have bad credit.  It is a huge nightmare for parents to straighten out, if in fact they even know there is a problem.  I haven't personally experienced the intrusion but as a banker I saw numerous times the challenges identity theft incurs and the years it can take to clean up.

Advice to parents to protect children is to get free credit reports of their children’s Social Security numbers.  The NBC report noted that The Social Security Administration is changing the way in which numbers are distributed. Creditors are requiring more proof if identification.  It is just one of many problems parents face in this uncertain world, but one we can and must do something about.  

Still learning,

Honey

Mother Nature Takes on the Mighty Mississippi

In the past year thousands of people all over the world have been affected by weather events.  We have seen Tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes and flooding.   Many compassionate, generous and empathic Americans have responded to help those in the middle of these tragedies. 

As spring is soon turning into summer, it doesn’t look like there is any relief in sight.  The latest and one of the worst weather incidents is taking place along the shores of the Mighty Mississippi. The flooding along the Mississippi River is taking its toll on land and people as it rages on.

This legendary river was one of the first bodies of water I learned about and was fascinated with in geography lessons as a child.  It seemed to me, a powerful wonder of nature, starting in the most northern region of our nation to the gulf coast states in the south, spanning 2320 miles.  Hundreds of thousands of Americans made their homes and some their living along this enormous stretch.  I remember what an achievement it was to master spelling its name - MI crooked letter, crooked letter, I, crooked letter, crooked letter, I, hump back, hump back, I.  There are legendary movies, books and songs that come to mind at the mention of the Mississippi River.

As I watch the latest wrath of Mother Nature, a couple of things come to mind.  One is how life can change in a minute and another is the respect I have for elements beyond my control.  I also have to wonder why some areas have severe drought and others are inundated with water.  Unfortunately I have no answers to those questions.

Witnessing the pain of those impacted stirs my heart as I try to imagine choices and outcomes they are facing.  My work has taken me to every state the river runs through and my heart goes out to those living along the Mighty Mississippi who will have to rebuild their homes and lives.    This is not going to be a quick endeavor but we all can help in one way or another through prayers, contributions and physical assistance.  We are a nation that sticks together and helps our neighbors in tough times.  This is one of them.  

Saluting the Navy SEALS

I was checking email a week ago when I saw a Facebook post that said “turn on the news Osama Bin Laden is dead.”   At first I really couldn’t comprehend what I read but in a second I grabbed the remote.  There it was on network news.  Reporters confirming a raid in Pakistan had taken out Bin Laden.  Then ultimately the President himself spoke sharing more details that indeed the world’s most sought after terrorist was found and eliminated from the world. This coupe was truly a tribute to the resolve of the American people. 

Americans were stunned at the horror of 9/11.  All of us remember how we first learned of this atrocity.  We all watched, experienced and pitched in to do any and everything we could to bond and make some sense of this tragedy.  Political lines were erased.  Personal issues disappeared.  We were in this together.  We watched as fire fighters and police officers and their families made ultimate sacrifices.  We held on to each other, helped each other and vowed that this would never happen again. We would find the evil person or persons who changed our safe, comfortable lives.

Former President Bush pledged that we would find the perpetrators of 9/11.  He didn’t say how long that would take.  I think most of us didn’t think that it could take the better part of ten years, but resolve is one attribute that this great country was founded on and it has taken permanent root in our home land. Obama took on this challenge when Bush turned over his post to him.  Our government never let us down in their determination to find the Al-Qaida leader and mastermind of that horrific day in September.

We cheered this week that Bin Laden is someone we no longer have to worry about.  People cheered for many different reasons.  I cheered and was in awe of the military unit that made this happen. The true heroes of this were the United States Navy SEALS.  The best of the best knows no boundaries, will go wherever the challenge takes them and risk their lives to accomplish a mission.  Americans owe them a great debt as we do with all of our men and women in dangerous places protecting our freedom.  

Fairy Tales Can Come True

In the midst of negative stories we got a breath of fresh air with the Royal Wedding.  Prince William and Kate Middleton made a statement of hope as much as they could with palace constraints, having an understated, modern and elegant wedding.   It was a Cinderella moment.

I had the DVR set to capture all the before, during and after.  Even so I was up early and began to watch the coverage of a true fairy tale wedding.  Always grateful my family affairs are not televised around the globe I was reminded like millions of others of the tragic love story of Charles and Diana.  I predict a different journey for Kate and Will.  This really does seem to be a bond of love and equal respect.  Disney could not have scripted this better.

When Prince William looked at his bride and said “You look beautiful” millions of hearts melted.

I think this wedding changed the face of the English monarchy.  The face now is not stodgy, but more youthful.  A page has turned in the way we see what the royals represent.  Its simplicity related to the billions watching the event that they can represent the common man or woman.  Catherine looked beautiful but not extreme in her elegant wedding dress.  Among the invitees were important public figures and entertainers from all continents as well as friends and lifelong neighbors from Kate’s small home town.  It seemed all were treated the same at the wedding.

This kiss on the balcony and then the second were a treat.  But, I think the best part was when the two drove off in the Aston Martin, trailing balloons and a sign, just like any other newlywed couple. The good thing brought out of this Cinderella production is that the Prince and Princess seem genuinely in love with each other. This was clearly not an arranged marriage.  And they did it their way.

Both Will and Kate have been involved in charity work throughout the world and no doubt they will continue.  They are blessed to have the opportunity to take their celebrity and continue to help those who don’t have the power to help themselves.  

Still learning,

Honey